Dancing through life...

Ew I feel like total shit right now. To make it worse I saw some pics of me and now I feel even more like a fat ass. Anyways, enough of this self pity bullshit. My life’s been pretty chill lately. Friday I hung out at the beach with some friends and my BF.I felt so happy that I got to spend time with the people that I love. Today besides the STAR Testing I didn’t have any real work to do which was fine by me. Soooo…tomorrow’s my birthday I have no idea what’s going to happen. Everyone seems to be more concerned about it than I am which is pretty sad. I don’t know…it’s not that I don’t want to do anything it’s just I don’t have any clue what I really want to do for my supposedly “super sweet” 16th birthday. I’m expecting some surprises when I go to school tomorrow since everyone’s been mentioning my birthday. It’s ironic considering no one remembered my birthday last year (I’m not mad about it though). All I really want to do for my birthday is hang out with all the people I love and get enough money for an ipod…and of course a cell, but only because everyone’s been on my back about getting a phone. So besides all this, my mom’s threatening to take me out of Oceana again since I have so many missing credits. I wouldn’t care that much if I was taken out (since most of my friends are transfering eventually) except for one little thing…well it’s not little. So the only real reason I don’t want to leave is, of course, my boyfriend. I’m afraid of what would happen if I did have to transfer, but I’m going to have to face with the issue eventually since it is almost summer time with only 3-4 weeks of school left. So much to do and so little time.

I feel so lucky to have him. I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy. I keep thinking he’s just a dream and that any minute I’m gonna wake up and find that none of this is real. It’s like one of those really cheesy love songs that you can’t stop singing. Everything is seemingly perfect…which really scares me because that usually means that something bad is gonna happen. Like the “calm before the storm”. The rest of my life is really shitty. My grades and future aren’t looking that great, but it doesn’t matter that much because for once I have someone in my life that can take my mind off of all the depressing shit going on in the world. And that’s all I’ve ever really wanted…for someone to love me and be there (other than my friends who I loaf so much); someone who actually cares.